Validating Feelings

Validating Children’s Feelings: A Core Principle of Child-Centred Play Therapy

As a play therapist, I often find myself sounding like a broken record, gently reminding parents to validate their children’s emotions. I’m deeply passionate about the profound impact validation can have on a child’s emotional well-being. I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it is when children feel truly heard and understood, and I believe it’s one of the most loving gifts we can offer them. Validation isn’t just a therapeutic tool; it’s a way of saying, “I see you, I hear you, and your feelings matter.”

The Importance of Validation

Validation is more than simply agreeing with your child; it’s about acknowledging their emotions and letting them know that their feelings are real and important. Dr. Dan Siegel, a renowned psychiatrist, emphasises that when children feel understood and accepted, they develop a stronger sense of self-worth and emotional resilience. This approach aligns closely with the principles of Child-Centred Play Therapy, where the therapist creates a safe and empathetic environment for the child to express themselves freely.

How Validation Supports Emotional Regulation

Children often struggle with regulating their emotions, especially when they feel overwhelmed. By validating their feelings, you help them navigate their emotional landscape. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory highlights the connection between feeling safe and being able to regulate emotions. When children feel their emotions are validated, their nervous system responds positively, reducing stress and fostering emotional balance. This is particularly important in Child-Centred Play Therapy, where the focus is on creating a secure environment for the child.

Validation as a Tool for Building Trust

Trust is the bedrock of any strong relationship, and validating your child’s feelings is a powerful way to build that trust. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist, advocates for a parenting style that prioritises connection over correction. When you validate your child’s feelings, you send a clear message: “I’m here for you, no matter what.” This approach not only strengthens the parent-child bond but also mirrors the therapeutic relationship in Child-Centred Play Therapy, where the child feels safe to explore their emotions without fear of judgment.

Practical Ways to Validate Your Child’s Feelings

• Name the Emotion: Help your child identify what they’re feeling. For example, “I can see you’re feeling really frustrated right now.”

• Listen Without Interrupting: Give your child the space to express themselves fully before offering your thoughts or solutions.

• Avoid Dismissing or Minimising: Resist the urge to say, “It’s not a big deal,” even if it seems that way to you. Every emotion is significant to your child.

• Reflect Back: Use phrases like, “It sounds like you’re really upset/angry/disappointed about that,” to show that you’re actively listening and understanding.

• Offer Comfort and Reassurance: Let your child know that it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling and that you’re there to support them.

Validation in Action: The Role of Play Therapy

At Inspiring Play: Child and Family Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, we see the transformative power of validation every day. Child-Centred Play Therapy allows children to express their emotions through play, which is their natural language. As therapists, we validate their experiences by being fully present, empathetic, and responsive, creating a safe space where healing and growth can occur.

Validating your child’s feelings is a simple yet profound way to support their emotional well-being. It fosters trust, strengthens your relationship, and equips your child with the tools they need to navigate life’s ups and downs. If you’re looking for more ways to support your child’s emotional development, reach out to us at Inspiring Play: Child and Family Play Therapy Sunshine Coast. We’re here to help you and your child thrive.

Inspiring Play: Child & Family Play Therapy offers the Sunshine Coast Parenting Programs inlcuding Tuning into Kids®.

References

• Landreth, G. L., & Bratton, S. C. (2006). Child-Centred Play Therapy: A Practical Guide to Developing Therapeutic Relationships with Children. John Wiley & Sons.

• Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind. Delacorte Press.

• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.

• Kennedy, B. (2021). Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. Harper Wave.