Mirror Neurons & Parenting
Mirror Neurons & Parenting: Why Your Presence Matters More Than You Think
Have you ever noticed how your child copies your expressions, your tone, or your mood - without you saying a word? That’s not just intuition at play, it’s neuroscience. At the heart of this powerful connection are mirror neurons.
Mirror neurons are brain cells that fire not only when we do something, but also when we observe someone else doing it. They’re part of what helps us develop empathy, learn through watching, and connect with others on a deep, emotional level (Rizzolatti & Craighero, 2004). For our children, whose brains are still growing, this connection is everything.
What does this mean for parenting and early childhood education?
It means that how we show up—the way we speak, the tone we use, our body language and how we manage our own emotions matters. A lot. According to experts like Dr. Bruce Perry and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, co-regulation (a caregiver’s ability to help calm a child’s nervous system) is essential for building emotional resilience. When children feel emotionally safe, their mirror neurons reflect our calm, our compassion, and our curiosity.
In Child-Centred Play Therapy, we support children through play, a language where their feelings can be felt, explored, and integrated. As Garry Landreth reminds us, "toys are used like words by children, and play is their language." With attuned presence and non-judgement, children internalise the emotional safety they receive, literally rewiring their brain for connection and regulation (Ray, 2011).
Here are five powerful ways you can support your child’s emotional development through mirror neurons:
Model regulation, not perfection – Your child learns more from your repair than your mistakes. Calm is contagious.
Use soft eyes and warm tones – Your non-verbal cues matter more than your words.
Slow down and get low – Come to their eye level to foster safety and connection.
Name emotions - yours and theirs – Labelling feelings helps children make sense of what they feel inside.
Prioritise connection over correction – Behind every behaviour is a need. Lead with curiosity.
At Inspiring Play: Child and Family Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, we’re passionate about nurturing children’s hearts and minds through play. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to support your child’s emotional needs, you’re not alone and we’re here to help.
Your presence doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be real.