Why We Don’t "Teach" Children in Play Therapy
Why We Don’t "Teach" Children in Child-Centred Play Therapy and What We Do Instead
When parents first hear about Child-Centred Play Therapy (CCPT), a common question arises: "If you're not teaching my child how to behave or solve problems, what exactly are you doing?" It’s a fair question, after all, much of our culture views learning as something that happens through direct teaching. But in CCPT, we take a different approach, one rooted in deep trust in the child’s innate capacity to grow, heal, and make sense of their world.
Why We Don’t "Teach" in Child-Centred Play Therapy
Unlike traditional teaching or behavioural training, CCPT is grounded in the belief that children express, process, and integrate their experiences through play. Research shows that children’s emotional and behavioural struggles are rarely a result of not knowing the right thing to do. More often, challenges arise when children lack the emotional safety, co-regulation, or developmental readiness to apply what they already know (Parker et al., 2021).
When we "teach" a child in a structured way, telling them what to do or correcting their play, we shift the focus from their internal experience to external expectations. This can interrupt the natural healing process that happens when a child feels truly seen and understood. Instead, CCPT provides a safe relational space where children can experience emotional regulation, self-discovery, and problem-solving in a way that is developmentally appropriate and deeply meaningful (Landreth, 2012).
What We Do Instead: The Power of Unconditional Acceptance
We Provide a Secure Relationship
Children learn best through relationships. In CCPT, the therapist offers a consistent, accepting, and attuned presence, creating a secure base where children feel safe to explore their emotions and experiences. Neuroscience research, including the work of Dr. Stephen Porges, highlights how safety in relationships activates the brain’s capacity for learning and self-regulation.
We Trust the Child’s Inner Process
In CCPT, we don’t impose adult agendas or interpretations. Instead, we trust that children use play to communicate what they need to process. This aligns with research on child development, which shows that self-directed exploration fosters deeper emotional integration (Cochran, Nordling, & Cochran, 2010).
We Reflect and Validate Feelings
Rather than correcting or instructing, we reflect what we see in the child’s play. This helps them build self-awareness and emotional literacy, key components of long-term emotional resilience (Delahooke, 2020).
We Support Emotional Regulation Through Play
Many children struggle with big feelings not because they don’t know what’s expected of them, but because their nervous systems are overwhelmed. Play therapy helps children experience co-regulation in real time, strengthening the brain’s ability to manage emotions (Perry, 2006).
We Allow Children to Experiment and Solve Problems
Instead of giving solutions, we create space for children to experiment and discover their own problem-solving strategies. This fosters confidence, creativity, and emotional flexibility; skills that serve them well beyond the therapy room (Siegel & Bryson, 2012).
Supporting Your Child’s Growth
If you’re a parent wondering how best to support your child’s emotional development, please know this: children don’t need more lessons on behaviour; they need safe, attuned relationships where they can experience being seen, understood, and accepted.
At Inspiring Play: Child & Family Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, we are here to support you and your child through this process. If you’re curious about how play therapy might help, please reach out, we’d love to walk this journey with you.