The Fight Response
Supporting Children with a Strong Fight Response
When children experience overwhelming emotions, some instinctively respond with a strong fight reaction, which might include yelling, hitting, kicking, or even throwing objects. These intense moments can be incredibly challenging for parents and educators, often leaving them feeling helpless and unsure of how to support their child. It’s essential to remember that the fight response is not about defiance but a protective mechanism triggered when a child feels unsafe or out of control. For many families, this journey can feel isolating and exhausting.
Why Children Default to a Fight Response
The fight response is part of the body’s natural survival system. For young children, this reaction is often triggered when they feel threatened, frustrated, or misunderstood. Dr Becky Kennedy reminds us that behaviours like hitting or yelling are not deliberate acts of rebellion but signs of a child’s nervous system being overwhelmed.
A fight response often signals unmet emotional needs or a lack of tools to manage intense feelings. By supporting children in these moments with empathy, consistency and structure, we help them learn healthier ways to navigate their emotions.
How Child-Centred Play Therapy Can Help
Child-centred Play Therapy offers a safe space for young childrne to process their emotions through play, which is the language of childhood. The therapist creates a warm, non-judgemental environment where children can explore their feelings and begin to understand what triggered their fight response.
Over time, CCPT helps children:
Strengthen emotional regulation: Through symbolic play, children practise managing their fight response in a safe and supported environment.
Build self-awareness: Play allows children to explore their emotions and understand their triggers, giving them a sense of control over their reactions.
Feel empowered and secure: Leading their play sessions helps children feel capable, reducing their need to rely on the fight response to assert themself.
The transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but with patience and consistent support, children began to respond to challenges in calmer, more constructive ways. Parents can also learn strategies to help their children regulate their emotions, strengthening their connection as a family.
Tips for Supporting Children at Home
For parents who are navigating similar challenges, here are some ways to support a child with a strong fight response:
Validate Their Emotions: Acknowledge what they’re feeling, even if the behaviour isn’t okay. For example, “You’re feeling really angry right now—it’s hard when things don’t go the way you want.”
Set Limits with Empathy: Set boundaries with warmth and consistency: “I can’t let you hit, but I’m here to help you feel better.”
Stay Calm and Regulated: Children take their cues from us. Remaining calm during a child’s fight response models self-regulation and creates a sense of safety.
Create Safe Outlets: Offer physical ways for children to release their energy, like punching a pillow, tearing paper, or running outside.
Practice Through Play: Use play to explore challenging situations. Role-playing helps children rehearse coping strategies in a low-pressure, fun way.
How Inspiring Play Can Help
At Inspiring Play: Child and Family Play Therapy Sunshine Coast, we understand how exhausting it can be to support a child with a strong fight response. Families often arrive feeling like they’ve tried everything. Through Child-Centred Play Therapy, we provide children and their families with the tools they need to build emotional regulation, connection, and confidence.
If your child struggles with a fight response, know that you are not alone. Every family’s journey is unique, and reaching out for professional support is a powerful step toward healing and growth. To learn more or book a session, visit our website today. Together, we can support your child in transforming their fight response into resilience, self-awareness, and emotional strength.
Sunshine Coast Play Therapy
References
Landreth, G. (2012). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship.
Kennedy, B. (2022). Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be.
Gottman, J. (1997). Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting.